


An Emotional Thing

by misura



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Hates Kylo Ren, Crack, Dysfunctional Relationships, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-23 19:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20205706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "I wonder if my parents ever loved me.""I'm sure they didn't," Hux said. "I know I don't." He suspected Kylo didn't love himself, either, but that was between Kylo and his therapist.





	An Emotional Thing

Hux no longer quite remembered why he had ever thought it would be a good idea to start having sex with Kylo Ren. As a way of stress-relief, it left something to be desired.

Specifically, relief. From stress.

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" Kylo asked.

They had just had sex, and while 'afterglow' didn't seem to be in Kylo's dictionary any more than 'fun' or 'practical', to not even get started on 'self-control', Hux would have liked to enjoy the moment a little longer. In silence. While pretending he was all alone.

"No," he said. "I'm sure there are perfectly nice people who have snuffed out an entire star system."

Kylo gave him a look. Hux considered going for his blaster - it would be a mercy-kill in Kylo's case, and a 'well, anything's better than this' kill in Hux's own case.

He reminded himself that an argument could be made that Kylo was important. "If you need a handkerchief, I keep a few spare ones in my sock drawer."

Kylo frowned. "Why? They're not socks."

"Weren't you busy having a moral crisis?" Hux asked. He wouldn't go so far as to say he liked dealing with Kylo's moral crises, but at least they didn't require him to defend his choices in storage space.

Kylo shrugged. He wasn't even attractive, Hux decided. Not the kind of face anyone would call 'pretty', and no charm to speak of. Hux should break up with him. The sex wasn't that good, anyway.

Hux swallowed his pride along with such insignificant things like his common sense and instinct for self-preservation. "Would you like to cuddle?"

"No," Kylo's mouth said, but his body said 'yes, please', so Hux put his arms around him and tried to think happy thoughts. Plenty of Resistance scum out there to kill, and as long as he kept Kylo sweet, he was all but guaranteed to get a shot at them.

Hux forced himself to go through some damage reports the next morning. He tried to keep up with them, and he took pride in having the troops trained by now in how to respond to one of Kylo's temper tantrums ('do not approach, back away slowly, avoid eye contact and contact a clean-up crew as soon as you have moved out of the direct line of sight of the incident site') but it was still annoying.

"Do you know how many TIE-fighters we could have bought if you'd managed to control yourself a bit better this past month?"

"Six," Kylo said straight off, before adding, "They're really that expensive?"

"Don't do that!" Hux snapped. He felt - not violated, precisely, but it felt unfair. Not that he would even want to know what Kylo was thinking at any given point in time. "I've told you before!"

"You make it so easy," Kylo said. "Your mind - it's not my fault you're so loud."

"I am well aware," Hux said. It was part of the problem, really. Having sex with Kylo felt like having sex by himself, except with someone else getting in the way and messing everything up. Hux would be having a perfectly nice time, picturing some Resistance scum's face as he blew up yet another one of their ships, steadily making his way towards a satisfactory orgasm, and suddenly, Kylo would be there, wanting to talk about his feelings or, failing that, wanting Hux to tell him how great he was in bed.

Kylo chuckled. "You keep saying you don't like it, but we both know the truth."

Hux knew _he_ knew the truth. He sincerely doubted Kylo did, though. "Go away," he said. "I have work to do."

"Paperwork," Kylo said. "It can wait." He was doing something with his eyes. Hux had a sinking suspicion that he was being smouldered at. "This desk looks sturdy."

Hux considered pointing out that it wasn't paperwork if it didn't involve any actual paper. He didn't like the idea of sounding like Kylo, pointing out handkerchiefs did not belong in a sock drawer, though.

"You should get undressed," Kylo said.

_I should tell you to get lost,_ Hux thought, but of course he didn't say that. And of course Kylo didn't seem to hear _that_ thought, already leaning in for a long, disgusting kiss instead.

Hux wished he could have erased the next fifteen minutes from his memory.

Kylo left after that, looking smug. Hux went back to redirecting funds and trying to come up with new, creative ways of saying 'destroyed because Someone threw a super-powedered temper tantrum' which unfortunately wasn't covered by their insurance. (It didn't cover damages from combat either, which to Hux seemed to defeat the whole purpose: what did these people think one used a Star Destroyer for? Gardening?)

He paused for lunch, afternoon tea and dinner, half-expecting Kylo to show up again. Instead, he got a fresh damage report.

On reflection, Hux decided that he'd have preferred a personal visit, but not by much.

"I'm breaking up with you," Hux said. He'd timed it just right: they were naked and in bed together, and in the middle of what Kylo probably imagined was great sex.

"No, you're not," Kylo said. "You can't. You're in love."

At least Kylo hadn't claimed Hux was in love with _him_. Small mercies, and all that. "I can. I am," Hux said.

"Is it the sex?" Kylo asked. "Because I can get better at it."

_That's not what the evidence up to this point suggests,_ Hux thought. "No. I'm afraid it's simply that I loathe you."

"Oh," Kylo said, leaning forwards to nibble on one of Hux's earlobes. "Is that all? I don't like you either. That's no reason to break up. I mean, we're just having sex. It's not a big deal."

"It's also that you're very bad at this," Hux said. "It's a combination of things, really."

"Uh-huh," Kylo said. Not actually stopping what he'd been doing.

"Could you please stop acting like you're going to eat my ear?"

"Will you not break up with me if I do?" Kylo asked. "Because if yes, I might consider it." His hands were touching Hux's body in places where Hux had no particular desire to be touched, at least not by Kylo. Someone else's hands, _anyone_ else's hands, might have been welcome.

"Fine," said Hux. "Can you get on with it? I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I need my rest."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you?" Kylo leaned in, his breath tickling Hux's ear. "Evil never sleeps."

"That's you off the hook then," Hux said. "Though I do wish you'd stop hogging the blankets."

"I wonder if my parents ever loved me."

"I'm sure they didn't," Hux said. "I know I don't." He suspected Kylo didn't love himself, either, but that was between Kylo and his therapist. Which he almost certainly didn't have, not that Hux would ever even consider recommending he got one, given that the last thing he needed was a dead therapist.

The paperwork alone would make him wish it had killed him.

"You're a very disturbed and unbalanced person, you know that?" Kylo said. "Pretty good in bed, though, I'll give you that. And you look very cute when you're asleep. Sometimes you even smile."

Hux decided that enough was enough. "I do not. I demand you withdraw that comment at once."

"Or else we'll do this again tomorrow morning and see who comes out on top then?" Kylo's voice oozed smugness. "It's a date."

_It's a nightmare,_ Hux thought, but since Kylo was already there anyway, he decided he might as well make the best of it. _Another day,_ he promised himself.

_Another day._


End file.
